May 27, 2010
Refuse Collector Unafffected

By Joseph Arens, NFMW

May 27, 2010 9:30 MST

This morning an unidentified refuse collector showed little interest in the warning signs of danger when he casually stepped over a brightly painted cement curb. Although this hazard was marked for this express purpose, the collector was not deterred.

May 26, 2010
NEW sfrommywindow

By Joseph Arens, NFMW

May 26, 2010 4:03 MST

This reporter, upon realization that low water plants were thriving under his window, has concluded that there is a NEW window to report from. Previously, only fringe theorists had speculated a sea change, but it is now the held opinion that the lack of reports has been directly linked to a window change. This desk, being hyper local, has had considerable disorientation at the realization of a NEW local. As data and first hand accounts come in, NFMW will surely gain insight into a new found sense of self and location.

Unsubstantiated reports have come in that this new window also has a hyper local location.

April 8, 2010
Arts from My Window: Film Noir and the downward gaze

By Joseph Arens, NFMW

April 8, 2010 5:31 p.m EDT

In an expression of the prototypical Noir attitude, one hyper-local male stares down at his feet. One foot flat on the ground and the other propped up against the wall which he leans against. Contemplative and cool, with his hands in his pockets, the man seems not to notice passing pedestrian activity. His demeanor is dark and shadowed, almost certainly due to a life of obligatory burden by which he gained unsettling expertise.

April 7, 2010
Spring returns to NFMW’s view

By Clayre Tanis-Arens

April 7, 2010 7:44 p.m EDT

spring

After a short hiatus South of Grand Rapids, the NFMW team returned to find that Spring had officially arrived. Its arrival is welcomed and the team looks forward to the news to come.

March 25, 2010
"Red pop" puddle appears

By Clayre Tanis-Arens, NFMW

March 25, 2010 8:32 p.m EDT

A puddle of “red pop” has been discovered in the local vacant parking lot. Presumably Faygo brand soda, it is believed by local residents that the empty cans of a case of soda have a market value of $1.20 USD, enough for its holder to by something very inexpensive.

March 21, 2010
Cone caution level status lowered to “on side”

By Joseph Arens, NFMW

March 21, 2010 11:11 a.m EDT

The caution cone protecting the neighborhood from an undeveloped bit has been laid on its side. This laying down officially lowers the caution level from “Do Not Walk Here” to “Walk Here with Caution.”

March 17, 2010
Relationship status unclear

By Joseph Arens, NFMW

March 17, 2010 6:39 p.m EDT

A local couple walked passed the window today in total silence. Some have speculated that their relationship is currently struggling. It could be that while they used to have vibrant and full conversations during evening walks, now they have nothing left to say. Others, however, might refute this argument saying that the twenty seconds that the couple where in view of the window is not a large enough sample size to make such a claim.

March 11, 2010
Opinion: Sweet Spring Rain

By Joseph Arens, NFMW

March 11, 2010 7:29 p.m EST

As the rain out my window turns the last snow mounds into muddy reservoirs I expected to see people running to and from cover. Yet in this first sign of warmth and life it seems people are content to arrive a bit wet. Maybe for the proof that Spring is on its way.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Joseph Arens.

March 9, 2010
Local lot’s approval ratings down 23%

By Clayre Tanis-Arens, NFMW

March 9, 2010 2:46 p.m EST

The parking lot that many local residents use as a convenient turn-around has seen a sharp dip in approval ratings this week. The significant drop comes with melting snow and ice, leaving residents unable to do a time-saving “180” without the consideration of serious tire damage.

March 5, 2010
UPDATE: Hubcap lack

By Joseph Arens, NFMW

March 3, 2010 5:52 p.m EST

Just five days after a Mazda’s hubcap lack drew questions of intentionality, the answer was presented. Upon seeing the driver’s side wheels, the NFMW desk can report that the caps are indeed intentionally removed to present a rugged rally car-like design.

—————

Hubcap lack intentionality in question.

By Joseph Arens, NFMW

February 28, 2010 1:29 p.m EST

Only being able to see one side of a local Mazda raises the question of whether the vehicle is supposed to be hubcap free. It is a possibility that the vehicle’s passenger side has lost both caps, and it was not the owners choice to display the rugged rally car-like design.